


The Last Goodbye

by Rozene_Nobody



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-10-29 19:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17813891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozene_Nobody/pseuds/Rozene_Nobody
Summary: Deacon realizes something is wrong with Sole after Hancock talks to him. Owning up to his own feelings he needs to talk to Sole before she does something reckless.





	1. Hopeless

Deacon was confused as to why he was meeting with Hancock. All he knew was that it was urgent and had to do with Sole. Just the thought of her hurts him. The last words he said to her weeks ago still haunt him. The way she poured her heart out to him and he had to pretend he didn’t feel the same way.

 

 

_“Deacon, I love you. You are the best thing that has happened to me since I left that vault.” Sole confessed._

 

_Deacon had to quickly assess the situation while she waited patiently for a response. What came out of his mouth sounded natural and even surprised him but it was for the greater good._

 

_“Sorry, Pal. I don’t feel the same way… We just make a great team. I don’t think I can ever feel feelings greater than the best friend title.”_

 

_Sole’s expression was dry and all she could muster out was an “oh”. Deacon had to leave. He couldn’t let this happen further and confess his own feelings to her._

 

_“Well this is awkward now. I’m just going to go. I’ll give you some time to fix your feelings. It’ll be easier so we can team up again. After all, mushy feelings only lead to disasters. Goodbye Sole.”_

 

 

As if it was that easy. The only reason he didn’t confess his own feelings for her was because he didn’t think he deserved her. There are many women and men who could give Sole the love she deserves and he wasn’t one of them. She deserves the world and he can’t give it to her.

 

Two people with baggage would only go downhill in a relationship. She is the hero of the commonwealth and him? He’s just a liar who saves a couple synths. She is way out of his league. Despite how badly he wants her he knows she could do better.

 

“Sorry I was late. I had to take care of someone,” Hancock states walking into the room.

 

The door closes behind him and he cleans the soiled knife from his hands. Deacon only nods knowing someone must’ve crossed him.

 

“No worries,” Deacon states sitting on the couch.

 

It’s just the two of them. Fahrenheit must be watching the hall so they’re not interrupted. Hancock gets straight to the point, “Ever since Sole took the Institute down she took comfort in Goodneighbor, and I’ve only seen her a couple times. The first time she looked tired. The other times she looked out of it.”

 

Out of it? Deacon was confused by that but nods. Surely, she must be trying to get through her feelings for him. Maybe that is what this is about? Maybe Hancock was trying to set them up?

 

“So… what’s the problem?” Deacon asked not understanding why he was here.

 

Hancock sighs before he speaks, “You know me, brother. I salute the people who like using. However, when I found out Sole was using I was surprised. She’s addicted.”

 

“Hold on a minute. You mean like Chems? She’s addicted to Chems?” Deacon asks surprise showing on his features.

 

Hancock nods. Deacon understands the issue at hand now. This is serious. Hancock, the guy who loves Chems, is frowning upon Sole using them. Deacon quickly asks, “What did she do?”

 

“Listen, this is Sole, we’re talking about. Everyone knows how much I love that sunshine kind of gal. That’s why I called you here. You’re her best friend. You need to talk to her. She stole from me. She stole all of the Chems in my room. If it was anyone else, they would be dead. Sole needs help and since you’re her best friend I need you to talk to her,” Hancock explains.

 

Deacon couldn’t even come up with single joke or lie. This was something new to him. Something about this whole situation didn’t feel right. Sole stole drugs from Hancock. A friend who would’ve just given it to her.

 

She turned into an addict and retorted to stealing? That doesn’t sound like the Sole he knew at all. It has only been a few weeks. How can she spiral down like that?

 

“Do you know where she would be right now?” Deacon asks.

 

Hancock answers and turns to leave, “The Third Rail.”

 

Deacon parts ways with Hancock as he goes leaves the building to go to the Third Rail entrance. The sweet sound of Magnolia singing reaches his ears as the smell of liquor hits his nose. He scans the room only to not see Sole.

 

A frown is sketched deep onto his features until he spots MacCready sitting at the bar. With a quick stride he walks to MacCready. “Hey Mac,” Deacon greets.

 

MacCready turns around with a small smile on his face, “Hey Deac. Oh, do you know what’s wrong with Sole?”

 

Deacon’s eyebrows narrow down as he asks, “What do you mean?”

 

MacCready sighs before downing the drink he was nursing. He points to the exit and speaks with concern, “She totally ditched our usual drink together. She bought a bunch and headed out a couple minutes ago.”

 

Again, something didn’t feel right. Deacon’s gut seemed to be screaming at him. To go find her. Now.

 

“Do you know which way she was heading?” Deacon asks.

 

MacCready raises his eyebrows in question as he answers, “She mentioned something about her favorite place with someone called Mila?”

 

MILA? Deacon’s heart started to race. He went on those missions with her. He doesn’t bother to say a goodbye to MacCready. He had to hurry. He felt gross since everything just felt so wrong.

 

The only place she liked setting MILA up at was on the broken highway. She said it had an interesting view of the commonwealth, the city part, anyway.

 

Once he was outside the gates of Goodneighbor he followed the trail she left behind. Whatever she was on, it was clear that she had no regard for the lives she left behind on her trail. Eventually, Deacon made it to the highway where Sole was sitting on a broken ledge.

 

He was quiet as he observed her. She looks like an absolute mess. Her hair hasn’t been brushed in who knows how long and her clothing was beyond soiled with dirt and blood. Her skin was dirtied and he can see the side of her face.

 

There are dark bags under her eyes and she looks as if she lost weight. His heart was breaking. Did he do this to her? Was his rejection that bad?

 

He moved a bit closer when she started to mumble. Her legs were swaying over the edge. That’s why his gut was screaming. Any small distraction she could fall to her death.  
His ears perk up when she pulls out a bottle of unopened vodka. She twists the cap off and pours a little bit off the edge.

 

“You always said vodka was your favorite, Nate. I still can’t stomach it but it seems only right if I do today,” Sole murmurs before taking a chug.

 

Goosebumps litter her open skin as she gags from the taste of the drink. She pours some more over the ledge. “You would probably be disappointed in me if you saw me right now. I would like to think you wouldn’t but I know you would. You would want me to keep living for you and Shaun. I… just don’t know if I can Nate. I defeated the institute and because of that Shaun died angry at me. I may be a hero to the Commonwealth but I failed my last chance of being a mother to Shaun,” She states a sob breaking lose.

 

Deacon clutches his chest. Seeing her in this much pain… it was unbearable.

 

“Nate, I’m an idiot. I truly thought you wanted me to have a second chance. I thought that’s why you let Deacon enter my life. He lost his wife and I lost you. I thought you brought him to me so we can be broken together. Of course someone as great as him would never look my way. I’m such a fucking idiot,” She cries taking another chug at the alcohol.

 

Deacon wanted to cry so badly. How can she degrade herself like this? She has it all wrong. He doesn’t dare move yet. His curiosity of what else she has to say gets the better of him.

 

“I lost everything and had no one the moment I got out of the pod. My life was destroyed before my eyes yet he was able to bring laughter back into my life. He brought me hope. Nate, if you really are watching over me you know how I had lost hope from the beginning. The moment he said goodbye I lost all my hope again. I served my purpose here if I had one. I think I’m done,” Sole says pausing her actions.

 

Deacon could care less if anyone saw him crying right now. Sole saying those things. He fucked up. Before he can make his presence known Sole does something that confuses him. She takes out the stash of Jet she stole from Hancock. It was a fucking lot of it.

 

“Give me a moment, Nate. The vodka should be kicking in fast. I’ll just take these and then my tiredness will be cured. I’ll see you and Shaun once again,” Sole murmurs her voice cracking.

 

Deacon’s blood runs cold. She doesn’t mean….? His gut twisted confirming his suspicions. He can’t let her kill herself. No. He would die if she does that.

 

“Sole.” He states loud enough for her to hear.

 

She freezes and looks towards him. Humiliation is in her eyes breaking his heart more. “W-What are you doing here?” Sole asks slurring quite a bit.

 

Deacon speaks quickly needing her away from the ledge, “I came to take you home. I couldn’t stand the thought of traveling alone anymore. I need my partner-in-crime with me.”

 

Tears leak down her face making him feel incredibly guilty. She begs him, “Go away. I can’t go back with you… I didn’t correct my feelings. So please go.”

 

“I can’t. I don’t expect you to fix your feelings because that’s impossible. I only said that because I didn’t want to admit mine but these past few weeks without have been tough. I can’t do it anymore. I love you Sole,” Deacon admits seeing her body start to move back and forth from the alcohol in her system.

 

Her voice breaks as she cries, “You’re just saying that.”

 

“No. Doll, baby, I promise I am not just saying that. I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are meant for me. I’m meant for you. I’ll stop lying to myself and to you if you come over here. Please,” Deacon’s own voice breaks.

 

Sole’s gaze looks tired as her eyes finally glaze over with drunkenness. She has a pout on her face as she states, “I can’t get up. Come get me?”

 

Deacon is beside her the moment she asked. Sole is in his lap and he is beside a car far from the ledge now. She tries to stay awake and Deacon throws the bottle over the ledge.

 

  
“I’m sorry Deacon. I’m sorry I’m a fuck up,” Sole murmurs into his chest.

 

Deacon sighs but kisses her temple. “Don’t apologize. I’m the fuck up. I promise I’m never leaving you alone again. I’ll never say goodbye ever again. I love you so much,” Deacon states holding her tightly against him.


	2. Hopeful and Complete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon helps Sole get back on her feet. He assures her he will be there and Sole regains the hope she had from meeting him.

The weeks have been hard. Withdrawal for Sole was hurting her and bad. Deacon returned with her to Sanctuary. That’s where Deacon updated Preston on the current situation. Everyone is looking out for Sole even Marcy Long.

 

That’s how Deacon knows everyone cares for her and he tries to prove it to Sole every day. As of right now, Deacon is trying his best to comfort Sole. It seems as if this will be the hardest part of her withdrawal.

 

She’s clutching onto Deacon’s shirt like her life depends on it. The sight of her makes him want to die just to end her suffering. She has only slept in short period of times since the Jet and whatever she took fucked up her sleeping schedule. Currently, she’s sweating up a storm. She was moaning from how bad the pain she felt was.

 

If it were any other day or any other scenario, Deacon would find that hot as hell. Right now, he dreads hearing her moans. He tried everything to distract her from her pain but it was all in vain. Instead, all he could do was be here for her. That was all she wanted as well.

 

Planting a kiss on her forehead and he whispers, “It’ll be okay, Sole. Hancock said this should be the worst of the withdrawal. After this, it’s all butterflies and blue skies. Either way, I’m here for you.”

 

A sob racks through her body as she stuffs her face in his chest. She can’t bring herself to say anything as she writhes around in pain. A few more moments of this and Sole passes out. Deacon almost lets out a whimper.

 

It was hard seeing her like this. Of course, if it means she will get better than he would be by her side the whole time. He lets out a shaky sigh as he moves some of her (hair color) locks out of her drenched sweat covered face.

 

Even when she is unconscious her face scrunches up from the pain she feels.

 

 

 

“How are you feeling, Baby?” Deacon asks with concern from seeing Sole exert herself.

 

She just offers a beautiful smile. It’s been two weeks since the withdrawal symptoms have subsided greatly. Now, she’s just returning back to her old self. She places a kiss on Deacon’s cheek and replies, “I’m feeling fine. Just a bit tired…”

 

Her voice trails off as her body freezes. Deacon glances at the area she’s looking at only to see Preston bringing a kid in her direction. They stop before us and Sole has a strained smile on her face.

 

“General, the kid says he’s your son,” Preston states obviously confused since we all know Shaun died.

 

The kid that really does resemble her hands her a Holotape and smiles at her, “Mother! I was told to give this to you! I didn't listen to it, so I dunno what it says, but I think it's important.”

 

Her voice is raspy from fighting the urge to cry as she says, “Thank you, Sweetie. Mommy will be right back.”

 

Sole grabs Deacon’s hand and leads him to her old house. There they listen to the tape. It was rather short but emotional for Sole.

 

Deacon is silent as the tape goes on from the real Shaun, “If you are hearing this, then whatever conflicts you and I have endured are over. I have no reason to believe you’ll honor the request I’m about to make, but I feel compelled to try anyway. This synth, this… boy. He deserves more. He has been re-programmed to believe he is your son. It is my hope that you will take him with you. I would ask only that you give him a chance. A chance to be part of whatever future awaits the Commonwealth.”

 

The two are silent as the tape ends. Deacon awaits for Sole’s reaction. A true smile is on her face this time as she glances up at him. “I really am getting a second chance. A second chance at love and family… I know this might be hard on you so I understand if you don’t-“

 

Deacon cuts her off by pulling her into a kiss. When he pulls back he has a silly smile on his face, “Why would I ever want to leave? I have the most beautiful woman in the world here and I get to be a father? That’s fucking awesome.”

 

Deacon and Sole could truly be a family together. Especially, now with Shaun. The last goodbye from the real Shaun seemed to wipe any doubts from her mind. From now on, she’ll depend on Deacon and grow to be a good mother. That’s all she has ever wanted.

 

To be happy, to be loved, and to be a mother.

**Author's Note:**

> How many thought y'all was only going to get a super depressing ending? Nah, I'm not that cold. There's another part coming up to complete the situation revolving around Sole.


End file.
